kri120

GIVE ME MONEYYYYYY OSAP

i only make mistakes when i come home for the summer. i take like eight steps forward during the school year, and eight steps back by the second week of May each year. im going to sabotage this for myself, just like all the ones before he. argh.

and REALLY, i thought i was done with the cryptic emo livejournal posts!

i wonder if the 15 year olds of today fantasize about being dexter the way i did about being buffy the vampire slayer.

Who would have thought wanting to stake supernatural beings through the heart while making clever puns would ever be the healthier of two dellusions?

God and I still don't see the sex appeal of Angel. He's so.. lurky?

I miss early 21st century TV!

i feel like its HIGH SCHOOL, thats it.

I might have gained like 80 pounds in one day. I ate pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner because I was too lazy to take the two buses to the grocery store. Oh and i was also bogged down totally immobilizing menstral cramps. this led a permissive use of painkillers, more sleep, and less exam preparation.

In conclusion, i hate exams. i cant believe i committed myself to three more years of this shit.

alright, so, i guess ill let you know what's been going on:


I went to England, and then I came back. It was an amazing experience. I have never travelled so much or stretched myself so thin. I sorta did it all - theatre/crazyparties/pubs/drugs/love/overnightbusestoamsterdam/anawesomeindependentresearchproject/newpeople/hostels/britishpeople/europeanpeople...
the list goes on and on. I'm going to make an awesome scrapbook of my experiences, one day.

Right now, Im living in a 126 year old house in downtown guelph. My roommates are new and exciting (met them in England), but somehow I know theyre only going to be in my life for this short period of time. Well, I'll embrace it. We have a cat named Margaret Thatcher. She's a bit insane, but overall she suits us well.

Next year I'm moving to Kingston... all on my own. I got into school there, and its going to be awesome. I'm going to get a one-bedroom apartment, a double bed, and a ridiculously large student loan. We will see where life takes me from there. I'm thinking of doing another exchange in my second year at the law school. I love Canada - but its sorta cold and mediocre a lot of the time.

Right now, I'm just coasting through this last semester, trying to get by. Sometimes I miss old friends, but for the most part I'm okay with the people who have stayed consistent in my life. I look forward to the occasional weekend in Mississauga and familiar faces. I miss my parents a lot, and little riley.

Ah, I turned 22. What a nightmare. My mother was married at this age, and Im just starting out. I know there are cultural differences between now and then, but I feel like a baby. I still have that outraged sort of reaction when I hear about people I know getting engaged. Like, "WHAT! At OUR age?!?!?!" And its not just cuz they got pregnant or are religious. Some of them have genuinely selected 22 as a good age to start a family... and society isn't so shocked by this, its just me. I guess I stopped counting around 17.

The roommate who lives above me has an acoustic guitar. Often I find acoustic guitars annoying when they're close-range, but faintly drifting through a 126 year old house, they produce a quite lovely sound. It doesnt matter which song... everything sounds better through 126 year old vents.

Love!

ah, shit. im back.

ok so my new job isnt that horrible... i can get away with a lot, for example illegally downloading harry potter and the deathly hallows on a government computer, and then spending half of the day reading it...

OMG LONDON. t-minus one month, less a day. im contemplating partially packing my bags this afternoon.. figure its a nice way to exhaust some of my excitement... probably will only fuel it though... i wish lauren would come back so i could continue 'purging' my closet.. which essentially involves me reluctantly handing over all the clothes i know i am unlikely to ever fit into again (oh to be a size ten once more...). but its good.. to make space anddddd fo become more acceptingggggg of the changes, and all that... (what?)

OH. i wrote my lsats and scored quite high, so can go to law school if i want to. i think i will, but i dont want to actually BECOME a lawyer or anything... maybe lobbying for NGOS, or get into international law... probably something i should consider researching, but id rather just ebay browse for new clothes. gotta get my apps done before i leave though, which gives me less than a month to fill them out.... ahhh letters of reference... HMMMM.

did i mention that i love ebay? oh and that lauren is back from spain. it is so wonderful... everything felt very much the same between all of us, though things ARE different now. she spoke to me about how her experience has changed her... wonder if ill be saying the same thing in five months. probably not, maybe in a few years though if i go off to law school in victoria.

its supposed to be very hippy-left-winged. I think i would enjoy that atmosphere, but im not sure i could do it.. put so many hours between myself and my home...

i got a new puppy - ole rileydukes. hes a doll. well, i seem to be the only one in my family that still thinks so. hes totally defiant and energetic, but i love that. hes different than sandy... very different. im glad of it. i like taking him for walk, and have fallen into the habit of randomly recruiting figures of my past to accompany me for them. its nice to hear updates. i like feeling so detached from what once was, or from who i once wanted to be.

i dont believe in god or fate, but i still think that ive finally figured out how i should be. right now feels the most natural... i think its a good sort of feeling to go by. im happy, and am going to have an amazing four months...

oh yeah and i went back to WoW... only wish i had more time for it. man i definitely need to purge some more clothes.. my drawers are overflowing. its getting a bit ridiculous.

love!

the reason i probably havent updated in so long is because everything is going pretty well so far this summer. i start my job on monday, so maybe ill have something to complain about after then. other than that everything has been totally remarkable...

um, fuck off stats, hello LSATS?

This summer is going to blow. But then... oh, but then.

What the hell am i doing with my lifeeeeeeeeeeeee?

is that they make me wake up at 545am to go and serve them coffee.

you know what really sucks? to return home from a six hour shift only to discover you are still the only on of your friends up yet today... le sigh.

i really like calling people 'comrade'. i blame 1984 and animal farm, but lately ive had the desire to call everyone it, from my 50ish year old colleague at tim hortons to my ridicolous roommates. i suppose it makes sense in both cases if you think about it.

this morning i had an exam, tonight i have an exam... im tired because i worked in between and i dont think im ready for it... but im done with studying. i might just sleep. probably would be better to be refreshed than go over my notes anymore times. ah no, ill go to the library and get some stuff done.. only a few more hours and then i can crash. tomorrow i get to sleep in as late as i want, and can take a night off to just relax and absorb the information presented to me during my lectures. i like absorbing like that. im like a human spunge - only not smelly. WELL i actually didnt shower yesterday due to studyage and laziness, but lets keep that on the DL shall we? yes, yes we shall. STUDYFACE.

my savings are going well considering the unfortunate ebay lapse i had a few days ago. i picked up an extra shift on sunday, so everything is now well and back its very unrealistic track. ill prove them wrong.... just like the little engine that could. strange that the word 'track' made me think of that.

anyway, im done with inane ramblings, peace out my lovers.

if the beatles say all you need is love then who the hell am i to doubt them?

sometimes you really just have to appreciate your exes, in all their baffoon-like glory.

i need money. ill be spending over ten grand in the next year... how terrifying does that sound? its too serious-seeming. i dont want to make a decision about my future career. i dont want to set a life plan, not really. i dont want to think about twelve months in the future and know exactly where ill be, what ill be thinking about and what ill be working towards. i dont like structure. i dont even like making plans for more than a few days in advance. i might just procrastinate this whole life decision thing for another four years... a second degree? a phD? law school? as long as it buys me time ill take it into consideration... this is a ridiculous way to go about life.

i think i need a bank loan, and another job. im not sure if i should go back to amc for christmas... im pretty at peace with peacing out of that place, but money is money and i surely cannot work at timmies throughout the break. still, its just awkward, isn't it? im not good with awkward situations, i usually just inappropriately run away from them... its a stupid thing to do when you know theres a good chance youll have to face them again.

amc is an institution founded upon gossip and immature social relations, and such a setting has only ever brought out the extremes in me - both good and bad. more bad than good many would argue, and there might just be some merit in their claim. im tired of feeling guilty for something i was deceived into doing. im tired of caring about the dates and fates of the fifteen year old kids i used to work with, but i kinda still actually do.

and still, a four hundred dollar credit card bill, the lsats, and a law degree do not pay for themselves. fleeing the country too - no, it doesnt pay for itself. the truth is i really needdddd some structure in my life, and some cash. maybe i should just deal drugs, or something.

i mean now they are... i mean.. is my pic changed yet? FUCK

times are a changin' pilgrams

i really like life right now.

this week is my annual crazy multi-friend birthday week, where every day is a new friends birthday.

i have to think of good gifts for all these people. im thinking of getting andrea a bong, so she can further enjoy the love of her life. i think thats the only pot related product she does not yet own.. or i might get her a new pipe and a grinder, cuz im pretty sure she doesnt have one of those.. though her pot is always ground... so mayhaps im wrong, mayhaps.

i think im going to get lilian a box a chocolates, because its so random and unexpected, and probably more romantic than what my brother will get her.. and thats just hilarious.

veronica i just plan on getting drunk.

lauren, if she were in the country, would receive more orgasm cream, since with all the spain slutting shes been doing she probably used up all the stuff i got her last year... ive been flirting with the idea of sending it by air mail.. but lets face it, if lauren has an address she doesnt know it, and even she does shell probably move within the next few weeks anyway nad will never get my package.

tanyas birthday isnt until the end of the month, and shes decided to have a hawaiian themed party. i cant think of a gift that goes along well with this theme though, besides malibu rum, but thats too impersonal... im sure ill come up with something though.

i love birthday season.

So its that time of year again - good ole course selection time. They always prep you for it with that damn webadvisor email, which never seems to fail to inform you that the *random* draw of student numbers has yet again assigned you to the last day to pick courses, regardless of the fact youve been *randomly* assigned that slot for the last three semester in a row. Don't blame the system they say, its entirely *random*.

What am i rambling about, you may legitimately wonder (none of you actually being university of guelph students outside of tanya/maddog):

Primarily, it means that for the third time in my university career, im going to have to wake up at 7am in order to scramble for the threeish seats left in the classes i want and NEED to take for my program. I can only hope that this semester (unlike last) I actually succeed in beating the other equally early birds to the time slots i so desperately desire, and thus do not have to take three night classes again in one semester.

To make matters worse, on top of all this agony, they go and give the majority of the course requirements I need to take (in a very pressing amount of time might i add!) the most obscenely contridicting and obscure time slots (this is even prior to all the 'good' time slots being taken up by the people randomly assigned to an earlier selection date). Yes, go right ahead, make some of my courses at 8 30am and no, dont you worry a thing, i dont mind having a 7 - 10pm the night before....and the night after... gahhh... somebody fix me?

I always wonder if these registrational people ever just stop and think that maybe course selection week shouldnt make us all feel like were being forced into some sort of roman melee that we have no chance of winning...? Sure,I'm definitely biased - I'm 0269379 and therefore prone to getting the screwy slot (kinda like being forced into said metaphroical melee without a weapon.. hmmmm OR like getting a fan as your weapon in battle royale!!!!) - but anyway, surely they could work out some sort of system that divides the seats proportionally and thus avoids both system overloads and inequality in one swift stroke? Who REALLY comes up with these things? They redid both webadviser and webct when they really didnt need redoing, yet this stupid system seems to endure despite the fact that, of the three, it has the most ridiculous set up by far!!!!

And seriously - why, WHY, do the first and second year students, who are likely going to just change their majors next year anyway (i know i did!), have priority when it comes to selecting my THIRD year courses? it makes no logical sense...

and as for my second school rant of the evening:

I think im getting dumber. it seems that increasingly, when I go to write out certain formerly well known words on paper(yeah i know, i still use that primitive form of documentation), i cant seem to remember how to spell them anymore. it happens quite a lot - at least once a day - and i acknowledge that my paranoia has been increasing a lot recently since a certain SOC class with a certain documentary on AIDS/HIV (entirely unrelated to this scare, hilariously) - but i really think something might be amiss here. its not just with spelling, its with memory too, and thats something ive always counted as one of my strong points.

Relating to this, i totally failed one of my exams today. not kristenesque standard fail (which is usually lower than 75) but normalized standard fail (lower than 50%)... I just know it. Its not that I didnt know the material, or that i blanked, or that i didnt study... i just didnt have enough time to write anything relevant. I physically cant write as fast as most people, or come up with answers as fast as i used to, and it sincerely worries me that i wrote an entire essay a couple of hours ago (sober and drug free might i add) and i still cant remember a single argument i made, or if i even really read the question right... i cant even remember what the question was, but i know i sure didnt answer it in my *essay*.

i tell you, something isnt right here... i think i lost my 'groove'. can your groove be academic achievement? cuz if it can, it means i lost it.

for once im my life school is the only thing that im focusing on/worrying about, and ironically it is now the only thing im NOT getting right. not that theres much to get right elsewhere... sigh.

i hate you 3250 public admin!

i want to go on an adventure again.

Don't think about an answer...just put the first thing that pops into your head down.

1. My ex will...
always wear plaid shirts and think deoderant is something that you bust out for special occassions or when you really want to impress the ladies :)

2. I am listening to...
my monitor humming, its turning me on.

3. Maybe I should...
go to sleep at times when normal people sleep

4. I love...
my current lack of responsibilities

5. My best friends...
all dress very similarily.. even the boys. its kinda creepy.

6. I don't understand...
why i like kareokee so much, when i rarely get drunk enough to sing

7. I lost...
my soul when i was 11

8. People say...
theres a party in my pants, and theyre not invited

9. The meaning of my screen name is:
some random number i pretend is significant to me

10. Love is...
too dangerous of a word to use lightly

11. Somewhere, someone is...
chewing on their collar. that somewhere is here, and that someone is me.

12. I will always...
act like a cold hearted bitch to his face, and *swoon* and gush about him when hes not looking
*
13. Forever seems...
like a concept that means continuous in time?

14. I never ever want to...
go to a hanson concert. ive heard enough about how horrible they are from the jeff.

15. My cell phone is...
no longer in service, as i didnt pay the bill on time (again)

16. When I wake up in the morning...
i try to go back to sleep. i sleep in as long as possible, sometimes even for 12 to 13 hours if i have the opportunity.

17. I get annoyed when...
people dont get my jokes or witty references

18. Parties are...
good when im in the mood

19. My pet(s) are...
no longer alive, thanks for reminding me you livejournalistic bastard

20. Kisses are the best when...
they are passionate and soon followed by amazing sex

21. Today I...
did something joblike that did not involve popcorn selling

22. Tomorrow I will...
go to woodbine and bet on horses. go grocery shopping. return to guelph. start my readings for next week and possibly smoke a joint at 3am and write a political manifesto.

23. I really want...
get good enough at poker to be able to earn 500 dollars a week on partypoker, and not have to get a legitimate job consequently. oh yeah, and to travel to seemingly ridiculous places to spend time with people very important to me because i have all this excess money from my winnings. (ACKNOWLEDGE MY WITTY REFERENCE, BITCH)

that is the end.